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Their words of wisdom are designed to help you find the kind of relationship that meets your individual wishes and needs at this exciting point in your life. When you are grateful, you feel good about yourself and you are in the right frame of mind to attract love into your life. Define the values and qualities that you need to have in a life partner. We are open to reaching out for professional assistance in all areas of our lives—we hire tax consultants, investment professionals or personal trainers, yet when it comes to our love lives, we mistakenly believe that we can find our life partner by chance. The Fed EX person will not deliver your significant other to your door. Approach others with a smile and your business card. Networking events are great places to make connections. Submit an interesting profile with a current picture and let the communication begin! You may want to base this list on qualities people possessed who were difficult for you to handle in past relationships. You’re fabulous, no doubt, but there are probably things you did—or didn’t do—in your last relationship or on dates that you can learn from. Passion is one of the sexiest qualities you can possess. So many daters focus on their flaws and why someone they like would never be interested in them. Remember that the act of love requires taking risks and being open—with your mind and in your heart. Start getting excited about all the new people you will meet. If you focus on fear, you become more fearful; if you focus on doubt, more doubtful. Now that you are focused on what you want—love—start acting on that emotion. Friend love and family love are both very powerful emotions. Steer clear of any conversations about how terrible it is to be dating at 40, or how there are “no good men or women out there.” Remember to keep your focus on what you want and also remember that you only need one. Creating a Dream Partner List is possibly the most important thing you can do when you are looking for love. Grab your journal and a glass of wine, put on some Barry White or whatever does it for you and then go to work on capturing all of the qualities that you want and desire in your partner. The truth is that your list is just an exercise to help you be clearer about what it is you want to attract and what you will be looking for in a mate. It was finding the right people—people who shared her life goals—that was the issue.From professional matchmakers to experienced relationship coaches, we’ve gathered a group of love aficionados who understand what it takes for mature adults to identify what they want and how to achieve it. Acknowledging what you have lays the foundation for bringing great things, events and people into your life. Hiring a professional matchmaker will greatly enhance your chances of meeting the person who’s right for you. These types of groups offer diverse activities monthly and provide an instant social network. Volunteer your time and talents to a charitable organization. Rather than sipping coffee alone, go to the nearest Starbucks or coffee spot. (You won’t have different results if you keep dating the same type! So often we blame others and don’t take time to reflect on how we showed up. If you haven’t done something in a while that brings you pleasure, make a commitment to try it again and you will have a certain je nais se quoi that will make you irresistible in dating. If self-doubt creeps up, replace the negative thought with something you absolutely love about yourself. If you can’t think of anything, enroll good friends to help. Get excited about how much you will learn about yourself during this process. But if you focus on love and how much you already have in your life, you will find yourself more grateful, more satisfied and more loving. Start concentrating on the relationships that you already have in your life. Instead, remind yourself of your brilliance and beauty. With billions of people on the planet, I promise you there is at least one good one left. “I was past 40, I had been married for a long time and I found myself back on the dating scene,” she recalls. I wanted to find the right person—not someone just to date and have fun with on a Saturday night.” A private and discreet person, Uli couldn’t imagine herself using today’s popular online dating sites to try and find a mate.Whatever avenue you prefer for meeting people, it never hurts to have some valuable, realistic advice from the experts as you navigate the sometimes choppy waters of finding real, everlasting love. If your flirting skills could use some brushing up, practice in a non-threatening environment, such as a shopping mall or grocery store. There are plenty of stories about high school sweethearts rekindling the romance. (If you were married for years, the idea of dating again may be overwhelming! Besides, people are drawn to people who are positive! Not only will they be there to support you, but they also can help facilitate introductions. At a certain age, it’s common for singles to feel that they are in a different life stage than their married friends. If you keep dating the same type of person and it’s not working, it may be time to revise your checklist. If you’ve been hurt (and let’s face it, at a certain point in life we all have! We all know what we don’t want and have probably dated him or her several times. Finding the right partner could happen overnight or it could take a little time. Again, this is just another way to have fun with this process. Saying NO to one thing is actually saying YES to something else.We’ve asked a panel of local experts to share their top tips for finding love after the age of 40. Hold that gaze just a split second too long and you may be surprised by the positive responses you’ll receive. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional assistance. Check online calendars such as Events in Your Area or Atlanta Buzz for local options. Many have met as a result of online sites such as Plenty of Fish, e Harmony, and Perfect Match. ) It’s normal to have baggage from past relationships or feel drained by the dating process, but remember not to unload heavy emotional issues or hurt feelings about your ex on early dates. Before you consider looking for love far away, consider that people in your community may have connections for you that you haven’t thought about. If most of your Saturday nights are spent hanging out with your friend, his or her spouse and two children, even if you adore them, it may be time to pick up new single women and men for friendship. Ask yourself: what are your top five deal breakers? You shouldn’t know if you want to marry someone after the first five minutes (contrary to popular belief and speed networking events! The only question you need to ask yourself on an early date is if you’re having fun and want to learn more about the other person or not. ), you may be anxious about getting back into the dating game. Look at this journey to love as an adventure, not a difficult task that may never end. Think of all of the relationships that have not worked out in the past and capture—on paper—all of the qualities that you are certain that you don’t want in your Dream Man or Woman. For more information or tips from the featured love experts and relationship coaches, visit them online: Uli Eitel, Sterling Introductions: Ingram, Atlanta’s Upscale Single: La Cota, It’s Just Lunch: Salisbury, Feel the Love International LLC: Uli Eitel, finding people to date at the age of 44 was no problem at all.
“I honestly had not even reached that point of consideration when we met, as I was still reflecting backwards on my life,” he notes.
“In a crowd of 3,000 people, he really stood out to me.” And while it was against the somewhat shy 40-something’s nature to go up and talk to a stranger, Perri, who had ended her own 16-year marriage five years prior to that night, was encouraged by her friend, who plotted out a strategy to help her “accidentally” start up that all-important conversation.
After some casual chitchat, the two shared a couple of spins around the dance floor and ultimately decided to head out for a cup of coffee so they could continue getting to know each other.
In fact, she even founded her own Atlanta-based upscale matchmaking service, Sterling Introductions, which also has an office in New York City.
“When it comes to our personal lives, we assume that things are going to happen by magic,” she observes.
Dating in your late 30s (especially if you are dating after divorce with kids like me) is sort of like sifting through a garbage can, hoping to find a huge diamond and a pair of Manolo Blahniks.